Germination

As I sit in-front of my kitchen table, making rosemary shortbread cookie dough.....I started pondering to myself....does unconditional love exist? Can you truly love someone unconditionally? How does lovers turn into friends? When do we start adding conditions to unconditional love? I used to believe that when you are in a relationship....having each other is enough...you live together, you grow old together, and ultimately, you purse happiness together.

The evolution theory suggests that humans are not meant to be monogamist. We are coded genetically to be polygamist. Males are trying to spread their seeds, whereas females are trying to find multiple providers. Over the years, have we evolved to resist our primordial instincts? But it is important to acknowledge that there are also opposing evolution theories suggesting that monogamy ensures that we passes on our genetics. Theories related to evolution are merely theories. There is no evidence to prove the validity of any of these theories. But we cannot control the feelings we have for others. We are bounded by our surroundings and circumstances. Our emotions ferments and develop over time regardless of how hard we try to control it. We often place ourselves in these furious cycles....tormenting ourselves...perhaps we are trying to remind ourselves of the good times. Without the bad, we will never know how good “good” can be. Perhaps it is the contrast that keeps life intriguing.

I guess there is no real point to this post. I just want to believe that we spend our lifetime searching for a person we are meant to share our lives with...one true soul mate. Of 6.92 billion people on this earth, there has to be a person out there for you. The obstacles we encounter are just an opportunity for growth. Definitely...maybe...

Jinxed by the New Year's bunny!!

I told myself I have to be honest on this blog. There is really no point in having one if I am going to conceal the truth. They say….never to make New Year’s resolutions….as you are bound to break them. The successful rate is around 15-20%. Haha! As it turns out, I had made my New Year’s resolution and had broken it on the very same day....a total of less than 24 hours...very impressive! haha! Readers of this blog (still doubting that there are any) know that I am trying to move on from a six years relationship (technically longer if you count the years we had known each other...anyways…that’s a story for another day)…well this “was” my New Year’s resolution. Maybe it was my dad’s cooking…maybe it was fate…maybe it was someone playing a sick sick joke….maybe it was a combination of all of the aforementioned....it was fate that my father decided to play a sick sick joke on me on New Year's Even! haha! Regardless of what it may be, I was food poisoned on New Year’s Eve and was puking all night….in my moment of weakness (I am a complete weak sauce by the way). Mr. X had contacted me…and I had responded (FAILED x_X ). Mr. X had dropped "our" sentimental attachments off (to learn more about them, please refer to the following post).

According to wasabiburger.com (yes….I have very credible sources...next time...my sources will be from hotdogs and sanwiches), of those 3,000 people who were surveyed, “52%...were confident that they would achieve their goal when they first committed to it (New Year’s Resolution). Which also means that 48% committed to a New Year’s resolution with expectations of not succeeding?”. Hummm….perhaps I am part of that 48%....or I am suffering from the New Year jinx (yes…I know what you are thinking…I have strong defense magnetism…deferring responsibility to something other than myself)!

Time to try again! Go away New Year's jinx!

The glass is always full!

Interestingly enough, one of my friends had recently moved from Montreal to Toronto for love. Her boyfriend of four years had gotten a new job at Apple. She moved to Toronto to be with him. The first comment that came out of my mouth was “What if they break up?! she will have nowhere to go!” Talk about projection. EEKK! I am projecting my feelings towards my own FAILED relationship towards her perfectly healthy relationship! Instead, I should have said “Good for you for taking the first step! You boyfriend must be pretty awesome to land a job at Apple. He is a keeper!”

My perception totally changed after having them for dinner. Their interaction had proven me wrong! They held hands and ran into the store together in the cold. She took care of him and he took care for her. Throughout the dinner, her boyfriend caressed her hair and said "I love you". It was heart-warming to see them together. *happy tears* :P Perhaps....if I have that type of relationship....I would do the same for love.

No more crazy projecting pessimistic Joyce!